This Is the Story About Myself
This is me. This is how
I got here. In short.
Sharing our hearts is not always easy. Here's my try. Let's get vulnerable.
Me as a Girl
Growing up with a younger sister with mental health issues taught me to beware of others emotions, be understanding and compassionate. In a very early stage of my life, I had to grow up and see the world from a more distinct perspective than most children probably do.
Do all things with love and joy.
Always being an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) but not knowing at that time, I felt stressed out by loud bouncy crowds of children and it happened not only once that my mother had to find an excuse why I couldn’t meet up with a kid calling my home. I always enjoyed spending time with my mother or a very well chosen best friend or my sister the most. On top of that, ME TIME played an important role even at that point in my life.
Adulting - Short Version
However, let’s go ahead with some facts: my parents got divorced in 2007 which honestly wasn’t such a big issue to me as I always focused a lot on my mother and enjoyed living with her. This close bond got even closer once my image of her as being my hero had been cracked: she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2009. During this challenging period, my soul decided it wasn’t time any longer to only been cared for but that I was finally ready to care for others as well. I was 14 at that time. My mother has always been and always will be the most important person in my life and seeing her suffering as much back then made me feel like I had to hold myself together. I tried to be strong and compassionate and to care about her as she once took care of myself.
Skipping a few years here, my soul has always been thirsty to make new experiences. At the age of 16, I felt called to move out of my home town and I was lucky that my mother felt the same so we moved to a slightly bigger city that had at least more than one coffee shop (which belonged to a hairdresser…)
From today’s perspective, I do understand why this strong call came to me. But at that time I wasn't aware of it at all. I only remember pushing my mother towards making the next steps. I was so young and threw myself in this new life quite unconsciously. Losing myself in this made me learn lessons that have an impact on me until today.
Throughout this new life chapter, I kept feeling responsible for my mother’s wellbeing (which surely is due to her disease in 2009). I tried to support her in every way. Finding new friends and adjusting to a new school, a new home and a new city as well as starting to work for the first time in a bakery, well… has been a little too much for my delicate soul back then.
Trying to gain more control about my life plus being in search of a new identity, feeling a little alien in my new group of friends, I became very sick. Anorexia was the new constant of my life where I found security and control.
Within 3 months I lost about 10 kg starting from about 54kg. At that time the only thing that lighted me up was achieving my goal of 600 calories a day, working out and pushing my body or people calling me skinny.
I became literally a shadow of myself and felt mentally as well as physically exhausted. Fortunately, my mother has been very attentive and sensitive to what was going on and so it happened that I was sent to hospital twice: once just to feed me for two weeks because my heart rates were way too low that it was a matter of urgency to get my weight up. My second stay lasted about 3 months in a clinic for psychosomatic disorders which turned out to be one of the most valuable gifts of my life.
I learnt so much about myself, others and my perspective on life, I learnt tools to handle my inner anxiety and depression and I got to know wonderful girls that I still can call part of my life.
My ambulant therapist was the next amazing teacher that the universe had sent me. Not knowing at that point but she integrated re-programming my subconscious beliefs, helped me to set healthy boundaries and guided me through meditations in our sessions.
Moving back and forward it took me quite a while, lets say 3 years to come back to a „normal“ way of being. When I started university though and living in a city whose vibes didn’t resonate with me I fell back into depression. I felt alone and lost at times and even if I succeeded to remain the mask of a shiny positive being - I was exhausted from within. I couldn’t find sense in my existance. Gladly I was very interested in personal development at that time which made me come across life coach Laura Seiler, a beautiful soul introducing her podcast's listeners to spirituality from a modern perspective and I can tell you - she might have saved my life. By listening to her podcast, I learnt how to meditate and how to divide between the mind, emotions and the self. Her soothing voice was just what I needed at that time. Walking in the forests, in the healing power of the woods, it became my highlight of the day. I went on a journey of new perspectives, self discovery and evolving into a free spirit.
Free your soul.
From Seed to Blossoming flower
Finding meditation as the ultimate tool for me, lead me to my next life-changing teacher: Yoga. I started my practice in summer 2017 and discovered its healing power. I travelled to Portugal and Bali to go on Yoga retreats all by myself. My soul loved it, she blossomed further and further and I was given beautiful meaningful connections which lasted until this day.
I integrated the practice of self love and LOVE into my everyday and I finally could see everyone as who they truly are: souls in a human experience on earth with thousands of imprints that formed their way of being.
From then on I learnt to listen to my soul's wisdom that had been there since my childhood and I found trust in the universe, worked with energies, manifested beautiful people, obstacles and possibilities into my life and finally came back to my truest shining self.
Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.
I invested tons and tons of time to educate myself in the healing arts, intuition, positive thinking, self love, manifestation, mindset reprogramming and spiritual teachings to support not only myself but to guide you on your journey to the life of your dreams. There are certain tools you can learn to become this happy, fulfilled person we all aspire to become one day.
Starting to work as a coach, my missions always been to make you and you and YOU feel less alone in this. I aspire to empower you to listen to what your soul already knows. I aspire to remind people of their soul's power and wisdom, their beautiful essence, to listen to their heart's desires and make them realize their amazing qualities, so that they can see themselves as who they really are: unique wonderful expressions of the universe that are here for a reason and can create the reality they desire NOW.